Today in my Astronomy class I was just sitting quietly in my cushy seat imagining a shooting star coming to destroy the projection screen when all of a sudden this kid, who shall remain anonymous, plops down next to me. There were only about 4 other people in the class besides me, leaving plenty of seating options for this erroneous kid to pick from...but of course I have a natural magnetism for anyone that wears socks with sandals and pleated pants. He began to take out what looked like a large satellite phone with a laser beam at the end and for a moment I thought I might get blown up, but alas it was just some sort of homemade sci-fi planner.
The professor continued to lecture on planetary formation when this kid started to sneeze uncontrollably. I thought there must be something in the air he must be allergic to, hopefully it was me so I would have an excuse to move over a bit. Instead he takes out of his massive backpack some nasal spray and begins using it like a drug! He finally takes his last sniff, probably because it was empty, and then gets some clippers off his key chain and starts to clip his finger nails. Now I'm all for a polished appearance and personal grooming but isn't there somewhere else you can do that? So that the little clippings won't have a chance to get on me. EWW! Finally to finish off the class period he crosses one leg over the other and begins to play with his socks. Now I have a strong sock phobia and detest the tubular material however when I need to I'll wear some. This kid has permanently scarred me by taking a pen and making holes in them. I don't know what he was trying to find, but magically he found his toes and stretched the hole to get them all through. Needless to say I left class a bit early with a strong feeling I needed a shower. If the galaxy class has taught me one thing it's be late and pick your own seat so you don't have the misfortune of having someone like barnyard-boy sit by you.